No artificial flavors

This is the voice of the slacker
The inconvenient life hacker
One Extra saltine cracker
The horns of a dragon
More magic than Hagrid
Don't get caught in my Web
Or get lost in my swag
Cuz I'm quick with the thought
But slow as I brag
I write haiku's by day
And by night I'm away
Breathing life into shadows
And time Out of clay
It'd be wise to acknowledge
The worst of my flaws
Is that I don't know their names
I hear their requests
But I don't play their games
I'm too busy to answer
I'm paid by the hour
To pluck all my feathers
And take frozen showers
My footsteps are words
And as I get much older
It takes more and more effort
To keep a cold shoulder