Happy Halloween

"Hello, I'd like to place an order for delivery"
The person on the other line says to please hold.
My two friends and I are gathered, eager for pizza and awaiting.
"What would you like?" She speaks.
"Yes, I would like two large pepperoni pizzas and a two liter cola."
"Okay, would you like our halloween special, its only a dollar more, if a zombie doesn't deliver your pizza in thirty minutes or less the entire order is half off?"
"Ha, that's funny, I guess , I'd like a zombie dressed delivery but can I get a selfie with him too?"
"Yep, its the Pizza People guarantee!"

I hung up and told the guys "a zombie is gonna deliver the food, we can get selfies and if he isn't here in thirty minutes its half off."

What could happen in thirty minutes...

We put on our favorite halloween flicks and well as they say, just chilled. Time seemed to go pretty fast. We knocked back a few cold ones and enjoyed ourselves. Before we knew it, the doorbell rang. I opened the door. This must be the pizza I thought to myself. In front of me stood a tall and lanky guy with two large pizzas.
"Hey, I thought you were gonna be dressed up as a zombie" I said perplexed
"What are you talking about?" Here's your pizzas. The total comes to $11.95"
"Okay" I handed him the money and took the pizzas. "Well that was a drag" I muttered. "Lets eat guys"
They both ran to the kitchen to devour the food. Opening one I hear them complaining, "No pepperoni!"
"We should have definitely got the discount but pizza is pizza"

More movies and cold ones, they were stuffed. I returned to the kitchen to find just one slice left.

The doorbell rings... I open and to my horror lay the upper half of a corpse. At first I was surprised but realised some pranks by one of my neighbors. As I looked closer I noticed that they went really detailed on the texture and heaviness of the doll. I thought I could probably use this next year as a decoration. I lifted it up by the arms and man was it heavy.
Something didn't feel right. It looked as if they stuffed it with raw meat because it spilled all over the porch and doorway. Oh, it smelled rank. It must be rancid meat. My neighbors are gross. I vomited in disgust.
"What the?" I thought as I looked next to me on the other side of the porch layed a pizza box with a note:

"As we promised, your order took more than thirty minutes so here's your pizzas and zombie half off"

"Hmm. Free pizza." I opened the lid.
"Oh no!!!!" I screamed. "This is horrific, I am so terrified, disgusting.who could do this" I am yelling for all the neighbors to hear, "what do I tell the guys? Somebody get me a few thick trash bags---they put pineapple on the pizza!!!!"

-JRC